Monday, 18 October 2010

Halong Bay, Vietnam

"Find what you love and let it kill you."

Emptiness. Laying on the beach for hours just staring at the sky, can't find anything but blues and clouds, makes me wonder how easy is living, how boring is not moving.

Few days ago, far from here I was at this place, a beautiful and unique bay, doing the same thing, floating in that blue turquoise water in the middle of the night just staring at the stars, what a moment, knowing how deep that place was, not knowing what could be under water, all this made me feel so full of life, couldn't stop smiling like a child.

This kind of a moment is so intense that you just forget about everything, you don't want to eat, you don't want to sleep, you don't want to rest, you do want to freeze that moment like in a paint and stay there forever, with your arms wide opened, your lungs full of air and just pretending that you are flying around.

Everyone's back at the boat, sleeping, dreaming in a magic swinging of the waves, and I was out there, living the real thing, and suddenly I saw it, lights everywhere under me, first I was afraid and then I realise what that was: phosphorescence. 

Phosphorus is a bacteria that can be found around South Asian's sea, and it produces exquisite lights underwater when you move around it, and as lucky as I never imagined I could be, found myself swimming in one of the most beautiful places in the world involved in shiny and bright light, alone. No witness, only my being. 

Who knows when this sort of a thing is going to happen again, hard to say, once in a lifetime experience, probably will be part of conversations around friends, when everyone's response will be an open mouth and disbelief, some asking desperately to explain or to show photos, some of them just thinking that I'm trying to show off with made up stories from abroad, but the truth is, I'll never be able to really explain what a feeling that was.

One day I'll be back at the office again, in my desk, behind my computer, boiling my brain, stressing my nerves and trading my soul, and that memory will be my resort, I'll fish a smile whenever I need it, I'll heal my body with that good feeling and I'm gonna buy my soul back whatsoever, because my soul was blessed that night and can't be traded for silly money.


  1. Sentia falta de ler seus textos, ainda que este em particular tenha sido difícil para alguém como eu (sem um curso de inglês, aprendendo às cabeçadas com legendas de filmes e seriados, mais o inglês ensinado na escola, que é o trivial).
    Lembro que te adicionei no msn, mas acho que a diferença de fusos nunca permitiu que nos falássemos. Espero que esteja sendo boa sua experiência pelo mundo, porque é sempre bom "viajar" contigo.
    Sua intelectualidade me envolve e surpreende.
    Um abraço virtual,

  2. I know exactly how you feel. And now, I want to learn Portuguese to read the rest of your blog. This comment is just to let you know that I am reading. Haha. Ashwin.